Life.

Today I spent an entire day at home staring at financial reporting. I won't say it isn't productive but it wasn't that productive either. At times I feel super motivated to do whatever I could to save my results, but at other times, the fear of failing just caught up to me and make me feel that I'm super useless myself, It makes me doubt that maybe I'm born in the wrong country or something. This place views results more than anything in the world and that's why I cannot fail. Because failing will really means I'm a failure. And being the youngest and the last to graduate in my family really puts a whole lot of pressure. I seem to be the reason why my parents still can't retire. And that's sucks. I don't take pressure in a good way either. And why all these thoughts come running in my head, I lose it and breakdown. And studying something that I do not like doesn't help much either. 

i envy those who could sit down for hours just studying. And I admire those who managed to graduate despite doing something they do not like. It takes lots of willpower, and sadly, I don't think I have it. 

Roar, enough of ranting. 

At least today was made better by the early arrival of my asos bikini bottom! ^^

Okay, time to go back to reality.